I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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