After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
