we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
