I can't breathe out the right side of my face
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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