It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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