I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
17 year olds will be the death of me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
