i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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