Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
