whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
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