In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
