some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
