I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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