So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
