There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
