I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
