Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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