did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
