So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Still dying that you shit outside
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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