Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
