Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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