Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
