I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
