you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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