Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
