Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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