I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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