you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
