Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
