I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
her vagine was all disorganized.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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