im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
