I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
