just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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