So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
