Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
