Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just gift wrapped bread.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I want to be your penis for a week.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
