you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
