Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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