Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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