She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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