He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
