Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
