the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
