the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
