So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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