Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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