dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
