It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
