Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
