i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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