I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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