The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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