drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The beer is more important than you right now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
