Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
